Sorry, but I have a real problem with that whole school of thought. Self-esteem is not a goal in itself, achieved in a vacuum. Respect is EARNED, and that goes double for SELF-respect. What earthly good is it to tell yourself how desirable you are when in all probability you are NOT — just like the rest of the Human race? We are all imperfect, and all the self-hypnosis/affirmations in the world will not change this. Further, trite as it sounds, relationships are made in pairs. You (in the general sense) may indeed be a great Partner for a lot of people, but this particular Partner may not be one of them. This is often attributable to neither Partner as an individual, but simply to the interactions between them.
Admittedly, taking THAT view cuts out all the Easy Answers to the Possessiveness Problem. Which is part of why my own panties are still in a bunch about my own possessiveness issues, but nevermind 
How to deal with insecurity
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